


hide in my arms all night

by reybencyera



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, they're both so soft in this omg what have i done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24284443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reybencyera/pseuds/reybencyera
Summary: They had taken to sleeping together.Andno, not likethat(although Rey was pretty sure she would’ve been alright with that connotation also.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Wherein Rey and Ben have communication problems post-Exegol and it takes weeks of sleeping in the same bed to finally air out their feelings for each other.
Relationships: Mention of Finn/Rose, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 131





	hide in my arms all night

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone :D hope you enjoy!!

They had taken to sleeping together.

And _no_ , not like _that_ (although Rey was pretty sure she would’ve been alright with that connotation also.)

The first night after Palpatine’s defeat on Exegol had been the time for a well-deserved rest among members of the Resistance. Families and friends reunited, blushing lovers attempted to surreptitiously sneak into one another’s quarters (including Finn and Rose, who Rey spent a few moments with while she grabbed dinner), and tired soldiers rested easy with the knowledge that the cause some of them had been fighting their entire lives for was finally achieved.

For some, however, it was not so simple.

☆

Rey had known that Ben’s presence would cause a stir, and probably a violent one at that, as soon as they landed their ship on Ajan Kloss. She knew that the Resistance valued her highly, that Poe was a good friend who wanted her to be happy, but she also knew that returning with him in tow wouldn’t be as simple as telling the Resistance that he had changed. Like it or not, the persona Ben had been trapped inside for so many years had done horrible things and to some the only justice for that was bloody retribution.

Still, she wasn’t completely prepared for just how willing some of her fellow fighters were to say she should be tried for treason, and Ren immediately executed. Rey fearfully kept her position in front of Ben, attempting to shield his bulk with her much slighter, shorter frame (much to his chagrin, of course.) Eventually, after a hasty intervention from Poe and Finn, those who had drawn their weapons were ordered to stand down.

Poe had ushered them all into the office Leia had used while on the base and turned around to look at them, a hint of fury in his eyes. Then passed several minutes where Rey and Poe screamed at one another and Finn and Ben cast nervous looks around the room. Rey had convinced him, in the end, that Ben at least deserved a probation period. However, Poe had insisted that he stay in a cell for that night, at least. There would be enough going on amongst Resistance members and he didn’t need another loose cannon to worry about.

At least, that’s what he said. The other people in the room secretly thought that it was mostly due to pettiness that Rey had managed to wheedle him down.

☆

All of those events had resulted in Ben sleeping in a barred cell with a cot that was attached to the wall, a singular chair that was attached to the floor, and a Rey who was attached to the other side of the door. 

They spent the night talking. Not about anything serious, they had had enough of serious. 

Ben asked Rey her favorite color; she said she loved the vibrancy of colors in general after a lifetime on Jakku but preferred green.

Rey asked Ben what his favorite food was; he responded that his mother had made a stew that was native to Alderaan many times during his youth that he had loved.

And so on. They talked about their childhoods, their preferences on anything and everything, what they did for recreation (Ben had done _calligraphy_ in his youth, a hobby Rey found just as interesting as Ben found her fondness for the spinebarrels and nightbloomers which constituted the flora of her home planet), and so much else.

What they didn’t talk about, however, was what had occurred between them on Exegol. Particularly the part where they had been wrapped around each other while their lips clashed with fervor.

Nope. No discussion of that kind.

What that night had done was made them - impossibly - closer than they ever were before. When Ben was finally assigned a room among the standard Resistance quarters he had taken to wandering to Rey’s room during the night, if only to have a discussion about something that was bugging her or a thought that had been on his mind recently.

But they _never_ talked about the kiss, much to Rey’s growing embarrassment. After all, she had been the one to initiate it. Maybe he hadn’t actually wanted it, despite his external reaction telling her the contrary.

She had only just decided to put the matter to bed and finally talk to him about it when something extraordinary happened. 

Rey and Ben were sitting side by side on her small bed, her torso pressed against the cool wall to make room for his width. He had been venting to her about how it felt when people gave him their condolences over Leia’s death, how he felt inadequate in the face of the people who were genuinely sorry for him, how furious he was at those who said it spitefully.

He had trailed off for a while but that wasn’t anything new. They were used to comfortable silences, and so Rey went on playing with the spare bit of wire she had borrowed ( _stolen_ , as Ben had teased) from the hangar. Once a scavenger, always a scavenger.

A few minutes later she felt the weight of something on her shoulder and turned to see Ben’s head. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. She turned her head infinitesimally more and looked at him. It seemed he had fallen asleep… and his head was now resting on her. 

Not quite knowing what to do, Rey debated just waking him up but decided to let him get his rest. She knew better than anyone how hard it was to get to sleep when bad memories plagued your dreams.

So instead of waking him she pulled a small cover up from the foot of her bed with the Force. Debating for a moment, she let it spread across both of them and proceeded to lean her head against the wall and drift off to sleep.

When they woke up the next morning, Rey’s head had somehow come to rest upon where he lay on her shoulder. He sprang away from her, blurted out the excuse that he had to go fix something on the Falcon, and was out the door before she was even fully conscious.

She sat up and swore at herself silently. She should’ve just woken him up. There was no reason to make things weird between them just because she had feelings for him which he obviously didn’t reciprocate.

Ben stayed away for three days and Rey cursed her stupidity each night while she waited for him.

☆

Finally, on the fourth night after the incident, Rey woke to loud knocking on her door and went to open it. She barely got out a yawned greeting before Ben came barreling into the room.

He told her about how he hadn’t been able to sleep since that night and asked if she would be willing to sleep together again, with an air as though he was sure she would laugh in his face.

Instead, she pulled him into a tight hug - which was uncharacteristic of them, but the situation definitely called for it - and said simply, “Of course.”

☆

And that was how they had ended up in the situation they were in. The one where Rey lay wrapped up in Ben’s strong arms every night and they carried on as though they were just friends - complicated friends but still, friends.

It was on one night, a month after the initial impromptu sleep-over, when Rey was contemplating her current circumstances. Ben had drifted off to sleep a few minutes ago and that gave her enough time to contemplate where this was headed and what she wanted from it. 

Her head against Ben’s chest with one of his arms slung loosely around her, she allowed herself to acknowledge that she had never felt as at home as she did in these moments. When she was here with him, she wished the outside world could fade away until it was just the two of them.

But of course she wished those things. She had allowed herself to acknowledge the love she had for him that day on the Death Star and she hadn’t regretted it since. What was more tricky to decipher was what he wanted.

After everything that had happened - his avoidance of any talk of Exogol, the way he had run away the first time they had gotten close after that - she was almost entirely convinced that Ben simply didn’t feel the same way as she did. Maybe he had at some point in time (the expression in his dark eyes after their defeat of Snoke’s guards was one she would never forget) but they were just human after all and, dyad or no dyad, their feelings were their own.

He was here, with her, in her bed, because he wanted the comfort of that bond that they shared. He wanted someone who knew what it felt like to ward off the monsters in his head. And he felt comfortable with her - that was the key to getting him to sleep, he just had to be comfortable with his surroundings; Rey knew how difficult that could be, after a lifetime of always having to look over her shoulder lest someone steal her only mode of survival.

So he trusted her, but he did not love her.

Rey felt tears welling in her eyes at the conclusion she had reached and felt her old self, the lonely scavenger who believed herself unworthy of love, convinced that her parents had left her because of that unworthiness, come back to haunt her. 

She lifted her head up slightly, examining his handsome face: his heavy brow, the delicate eyelashes that brushed his cheeks, the collection of beauty marks dotting his fair skin, his full lips, held in a soft pout...

On impulse, she reached up with her thumb and lightly stroked his cheek with affection. Her eyes lingered on those lips, remembering how satiny they had felt against her own. Hardly knowing what she was doing, she lifted her head further and gave the barest brush of her lips against his.

She drew back from him and took in his unconscious face - or, what she thought was unconscious. 

Rey let out a small shriek when she felt the pressure around her waist tighten, Ben pulling her towards the heat of his body.

“Rey-” he breathed, his eyes fluttering open to reveal his true state of consciousness.

“You- you were awake for that?” she asked, dread pooling in her stomach at what she thought was his imminent rebuke of her actions.

“Yes, but Rey I-”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know that… that you don’t want this the way that I do,” she began to extricate herself from his limbs, scampering to the very edge of the bed and looking like she wanted to flee, “And I promise I’ll be fine; I don’t need your pity or anything.”

Ben looked at her bemusedly and at the sound of her sniffling crept closer to her, willing himself to not put his arms around her as he wanted so badly to do.

“Rey… I don’t know how the idea that I _don’t_ want you… like that ever occurred to you but it’s- it’s just not true. Rey- I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want you.”

Rey turned back around to look at him, her tear-filled eyes fearfully hopeful at what he had said. 

“But,” Rey stopped as her voice cracked and attempted to speak again, “But we never talked about what happened after- after you saved me. You never even mentioned it. And that first day you fell asleep in my bed… you ran away so quickly.”

“I just - well, this sounds stupid now - I assumed that you didn’t want to talk about it. I quite literally raised you from the dead, I guess I just figured you would have kissed anyone who had done so - out of gratitude, you know?

“As for me running away that day… I regretted it horribly, but I just assumed that you would be uncomfortable about what happened. I guess we’ve both been idiots.”

Rey rolled her eyes, “One of us has, at least. A kiss of _gratitude_ , Ben? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

Ben scoffed and fired back, “Almost as ridiculous as thinking the man who offered to rule the galaxy by your side didn’t have feelings for you.”

She blushed, “I see your point. We’re both absolute morons.”

He reaches over, taking her hand, and Rey is reminded once again of that damned throne room, of how she had _burned_ with the urge to take his hand. But there was no use lamenting the past. All that mattered was the present: them, in her bed, his large, soft hand holding tight to her smaller, calloused one.

He looked at her as though she was the center of the universe, like all of the systems and all of the planets that made up the regions of the galaxy revolved around her and her constellations of freckles. He was transfixed by those freckles, his gaze raking over her delicate cheekbones and nose. His eyes finally came up to her own, seeing his adoration reflected in them. It gave him the courage to admit something that had been building for over a year.

“Rey, you should know that I- I love you. More than I could ever express through words, so-” he opened his mind to her then, completely, letting her peruse his innermost thoughts and feelings.

“Ben…” she gasped as his head was laid bare to her.

His mind beckoned her in, and she hesitated for only a moment before she allowed it to pull her along. A lifetime of experiences drifted by her consciousness as she was pulled through the labyrinth that was his psyche. All of a sudden, the movement stopped. Rey was drawn into a very specific memory; one she recognized, but not from this perspective.

There she stood, his grandfather’s lightsaber clasped in her hands, a determined, fierce look on her face. In his eyes she was… wild and feral, but soft and beautiful, also: an amalgamation of contrasting characteristics.

She felt his awe when he had first seen her standing there, her light clothes glowing in the blue light, a symbol of everything he had ever wanted but couldn’t have. She felt his complex emotions toward this scavenger that had undermined him: anger, jealousy, growing admiration, fear, _desire._

She shuddered outwardly at this acknowledgment of the inopportune beginning of his deep affection for her. His love for her.

Rey exited his mind, and when she came back to herself she looked up at him with playful amusement. 

“So, basically, you’ve _wanted_ me since I sliced a scar into your face? That’s kind of messed up, Ben, I’ve gotta say I-”

She was abruptly stopped by him initiating a second kiss, his lips searing a path across hers. She gasped at his intensity, electricity coursing through her veins. 

_Were you laughing at me?_ came his voice, at once ferocious and teasing, from inside her head.

She grinned into his lips and replied, _Of course I was; get used to it._

He _growled_ and one of his hands came up to tangle itself in her loose hair.

She fell onto her bed, her back resting against the coarse sheets that were standard issue in the Resistance. Ben’s body came to rest against her own and she reveled in the feeling of his weight on top of her. She felt his leg shifting as though he were going to… _oh-_

A knock on the door interrupted them.

“Rey?” Finn’s voice came from the hallway, “Sorry to wake you but we need you in the hangar. Some more defected stormtroopers have just arrived and we need some extra hands to help process them.”

Ben held his breath as Rey answered, “Okay, Finn! Be there in a moment!” in a strained voice.

They waited for a moment at which point they were sure Finn had walked away. They both began to shift into an upright position once more.

“Oh, and Rey? Bring Solo with you, I know he’s in there.”

Rey’s cheeks heated and she looked at Ben to see his ears were flushing red where they poked out of his thick hair.

She got up quickly and went to fix her mussed hair. She pulled some fabric for her customary wraps out of her small closet and began to loop them around her.

Ben was suspiciously quiet while she was doing this and when she looked back at him he was shaking with silent laughter.

“And what, may I ask, is so funny?” she asked, her face impressively blank.

At this Ben couldn’t contain his mirth any longer and a still-unusual smile broke across his face as his laughter burst out.

Rey’s stoic facade fell as well and she joined him in guffawing.

Their laughter finally subsided and Rey wiped the tears from her eyes, a couple of giggles escaping her, “I guess this whole thing is gonna be common knowledge by tomorrow, huh?”

“If it isn’t already,” Ben shook his head, still grinning.

Rey finally fastened her belt around her waist and looked back up at him, “As fun as that was, I guess we should get ready.”

“And since I don’t… have any clothes in here I guess that means I’ll go back to _my_ room,” Ben replied, an exaggerated pout on his lips. 

Rey laughed as he began to head for the door but then called out, “Ben, wait!”

He looked frightened for a split second, as though she was going to tell him that what had happened just now was another mistake, still so afraid that she would reject him.

She knew what she had to do.

She pulled him to her, planting a chaste kiss to his lips before saying, “I love you, too” and pressing a memory, one of her own, into his mind.

As Ben made the short walk to his room, he smiled at the image of him passing her a blanket through the bond one night on Ahch-To, a concerned look in his eyes as she shivered from the cold.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so very much for reading! if you want, you can find me at @reybencyera on twitter!!
> 
> (title comes from dua lipa's "Lost In Your Light")


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